native new yorker with dominican roots. writer of all things love, life, family, sex, friends and everything in between. a not so secret obsession with stringing along words to form perfect sentences - reflecting what the mouth can't say. 

I'm Coming Out.

Being that National Coming Out Day was a few days ago, I’ve come across coming out stories around the internet and I’m always disheartened by the fact that it's such a thing that we feel the need to introduce our sexuality to the public – but hey, that’s the world we live in.

Some stories are amazing, others are heartbreaking – but it’s all comforting to know there is a place where people can express whatever they feel.

So, in light of all of this, I thought I’d share my story with you guys:

As most stories go, mine has zero to do with the public and one hundred about my mother. I have an old school (most of the time), Dominican mother who was born and raised with certain morals, values, views and opinions – all, or most of them which weren’t mine.

Looking back, I didn’t come out the way I intended to but I guess it never happens that way. It was abrupt, messy, and in the midst of heated madre y hija argument – and if you know Hispanic mothers, I think you’d expect her to react – and she did. It was loud, rough, hurtful, and just simply one of the worst times of my life. We didn’t say one word to each other for three weeks – we didn’t mention my coming out for three years.

In between it all, I felt relieved. I knew it would take her some time, maybe she’ll never accept it, maybe she would – I didn’t know. But I did know that I had told her. For someone who spent most of her life trying to make her mother proud, as a freshman in college and a recent outee, I finally felt like I was making myself proud.

You see, life really kind of does work in mysterious ways because my mom now dates a man who opened her eyes to an entirely different world of acceptance and opinions and that it is okay to have differences. He introduced her to his daughter, who just so happens to be openly gay.

I’m a strong believer of people purposes. I believe people come into my life for specific reasons, to do certain jobs – and that’s what my mother’s boyfriend was to us.

After about five years of coming out and three years of not talking about it, I can’t think of a more supportive person in my life than my mother.

So, yeah – that’s it.

One last thing to those who are afraid, nervous, or just in a shitty situation – it really does get better. Once you feel comfortable in your own skin, you’ll feel comfortable with the rest – and remember, it’s not an obligation. Do it for yourself and no one else.

xxcv

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