native new yorker with dominican roots. writer of all things love, life, family, sex, friends and everything in between. a not so secret obsession with stringing along words to form perfect sentences - reflecting what the mouth can't say. 

“For All Intents and Purposes, I am a Woman”

I realize this is a topic that has been brought to much brighter light because of Bruce Jenner’s interview last night.

Watching this interview, I couldn’t help but to get emotional by his obvious sense of relief, happiness, and trueness that kept reaching through the screen. However, this also brought some debate within my family.

Two major comments that were said tonight:

“Why did he wait to have a family before he decided to come out? Is he gay? Is that why he’s doing it? It’s selfish, he’s not thinking of his kids.”

“People cannot act on all of their feelings. If I walk down the street and I see a good-looking girl, I’m not going to pounce on her because I feel like it… You can’t just do things without thinking about how it will affect others…”

These topics are always difficult to discuss for a lot of reasons. Yes, I will get emotional. Yes, I will state my feelings and I will not back down from them but an educational and heated discussion it was.

I just want people to understand that “coming out” as anything other than “the norm to social standards” (based on my thinking on the general opinions before GenY came along) is NOT easy for some. Some people are very comfortable in their skin, they’re sure of themselves, confident in everything about them – and that is amazingly beautiful. However, for others, it’s an internal conflict that can’t be fixed with a “just be who you are.” Some don’t even know who they are. It takes time to grow, learn, discover, engage, fortify, and most importantly love yourself as who you are. The best party is that there is no time limit for this. You have until your last waking second to figure that out and it is not up to anyone else to put a deadline on finding yourself.

Also, identifying with a gender has absolutely 0% to do with sexuality. People fail to understand that those are two different aspects to the self – mainly because some people never had to be bothered with it.

As for acting on feeling – acting on a sexual feeling and deciding that it is time to be true to oneself are not the same thing, at all. First of all, it sounds like there are laws against acting upon carnal instincts without consent or with a minor – so yeah. Secondly, how a person views themselves, how they identify with themselves, who they are as a person isn’t a condition. When you compare being LGBT to an addict, to a choice to act upon something – you’ve already got it wrong. Being lesbian, being gay, being bisexual, transgender, pansexual, etc. isn’t a condition. Believe it or not, it is just like being straight – it is what it is.

We’ve got to be open to have these conversations. Maybe it is the misrepresentation or lack of representation of trans persons in the media (especially of color which Bruce does acknowledge in his interview) but we’ve got to educate ourselves; most importantly be open to understand and to have changes in opinions. We’re all human. People are who they are no matter what their gender and sexuality is. We have to learn to love people and accept them as they are and as they feel. Our responsibility as people isn’t to condemn people for being themselves, our responsibility as people is to respect people as they come, to love, and to be open-minded.

All I’m saying is, Bruce Jenner along with the millions of people accepting themselves and loving themselves for their true identities, you are brave beyond wonders and I am so with that.

4:27 AM

New Days.